Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006. Check out the archives here.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
We are now also taking submissions for eavesdropping on video conferencing calls and all of the other newfangled ways we’re staying in touch.
Overheard of the Week:
Picking up a bike at the Capital Bikeshare station next to Union Station, a father and two sons were riding their bikes down the small hill of Columbus Circle Northeast.
Kid #1: “This is a weird place for a hill.”
Father: ….
—
He actually died at the Convention Center!
Overheard on the Metro, pulling into the Mt. Vernon Square stop:
Man: “This is Mount Vernon. It’s Washington’s final resting place.”
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That’s exactly what it is
A patron reading the news on their phone at Nanny O’Briens in Cleveland Park:
“What’s the New York Post?!? Is that like a combination of the New York Times and Washington Post?”
—
Phoebe Bridgers write this down
Woman on the phone in a bathroom stall at DCA:
“I don’t like the cold. It makes me cold and sometimes it makes me sad.”
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A very classic and relatable goof
A Wednesday evening Senate vote is dragging on and on without the final couple of (deciding) votes being cast. Lawmakers, probably hungry for dinner, are milling about tensely:
Senate clerk, unaware her C-SPAN microphone was on: “I don’t know what everybody’s panicked about, it hasn’t even been an hour yet.”
—
He who did not hold the umbrella is always the first to cast a stone
On a rainy Sunday afternoon, a couple was walking along C Street NE near 2nd Street. The woman was attempting to hold an umbrella over the two of them:
The man unlocking their car door: “You didn’t do a very good job with that umbrella. I’m soaking wet.”
Her: “Oh that reminds me, I need to update our umbrella policy when we get home.”
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Definitely diagnosable
Man and woman in their 20s or 30s waiting for an elevator in Georgetown.
Woman: “He literally said that he weighed himself every time after he shit.”
Man: “Every time?!”
Woman: “Every time.”
Man: “Is there any difference?”
Woman: “He said it’s always between 1 or 2 pounds.”
—
Um, wow!
Two retirement-age men are chatting on a jet bridge in Baltimore.
Man 1: “Wait a minute, you’re 72 years old with a four-year-old and a six-year-old?”
Man 2: “Yep, and I got grandkids just about that age, so I doubled up!”
Man 1: “You’re bad, man…”
Man 2: (laughs) “I’m a good man!”
—
Who is the dog park really for?
A man walking a pug in Kalorama Park early on a Saturday:
Man to the dog, in a high pitch: “There’s a buddy, there’s another buddy. There’s buddies everywhere!!”
(Another dog, attached to a woman a few feet behind, approaches.)
To his dog: “Who’s this buddy?!”
To the woman and other dog, lower pitch: “Hi.”
Source: WAMU
